Sister, do you know my name?
Was told this morning that my first English class would be... tonight! Making the discovery Day Of meant that I was throwing things together last minute. Typical, both of me and China. I'll be teaching oral English for 2 hours, 2 evenings a week, which is great since I'm pretty much dead to the world until mid-morning, anyway.
Tonight I arrived for class 20 minutes early (whaaa? I know.) to find most of the class already there, giggling anxiously at their desks. Three boys greeted me in the hallway by shouting my name overandoverandover and then proudly ushered me into the room. As they presented me to their classmates, a wave of whispers ran across the room-- lots of oohs and aahs and murmurs about the new "pretty teacher." The boys took their seats, front and center, and the rest of the students crowded into the first few rows of desks. With that, I called the first session of my fan club to order (China chapter, obvs).
I began class with introductions. In the US, this would take maybe 5 minutes and go like, "Hey, my name's Bob, I'm a French major." Here, introductions for my 30 students took nearly an hour--
"Good evening, Lovely Teacher. My name is Wang Xufeng. I come from the Foreign Language School. My major is literature and English, but I would like to one day be a teacher. I am from Xi'an, which is a beautiful and ancient city of China. I hope you will one day see it. Jinan is also very beautiful, and I would like to show it to you. My English is very bad, but I hope we can become great friends and help each other. I think you are very nice. I would like to know, pretty lady, why are you so charming?"
So they're basically all getting A's. In all honesty, I hope the flattery dies down a bit.
Most students have an English name that they've used in previous classes as well as in real life, since many foreigners can't pronounce their Chinese names (myself included, though I'm getting better). Students often pick a name themselves, or they receive one from a teacher, in both cases resulting in some pretty entertaining choices.
Some favorites from my class:
-Smile
-Snow
-Peppy
-Orange
-Shaqee
-Librae
-Cherry
-Iceberge (his spelling)
-and my personal favorite, Thomas Jefferson
Ok seriously, would you be able to call on Thomas Jefferson or Iceberge without laughing? Yeah, me neither.
Two female students requested that I give them English names. Without hesitation, I gave them each a beautiful name and then wrote both on the chalkboard so everyone would know the proper spelling:
TYRA
7 comments:
omg this is so brilliant. i feel like this is a great sitcom. i can't wait for you to write your memoir & then for them to turn it into a movie
So I am still amazed by the 20 MINUTES EARLY part of this. Good god Amanda, what has China done to you?!? Glad to hear the students love love you.
I am cracking up laughing! You are brilliant!
HAhaha. Amanda I LOVE this story and also your letter to China. This is the best blog ever. China sounds sooo crazy, but I couldn't think of anyone better than you to be a pretty teacher. Keep up the GREAT work.
P.S. Can I just say with regards to China STILL setting off fireworks for the new year...China, get a hold of yourself! Easy on the Maotai shots. I thought Chinatown San Francisco was bad with the endlessly huge crowds and overwhelming amounts of red paper debris for weeks after the New Year, but that has finally subsided. I guess living near Chinatown really isn't Fina than Living in China. No one can do it up like the genuine article
In your memior, Amanda, which, obviously, I would be in, have Gwen play me. Paltrow. Pretty much my twin.
is it safe to assume that in giving Oprah and Tyra as names to your students, no one has yet impressed you enough to earn the name Gayle? i imagine you are saving that name for a special friend with striking features, splendid stye, and a knack for pop culture.
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