temporary

Hello to all of my beloved fans-
This is a temporary message to say that I haven't forgotten WCBF. Between a dead computer and preparing to travel for a bit, it's been nearly impossible to update. Check back soon, ya'll, I've got lots of backdated words of wisdom which I'll be adding asap.

The lord said to Noah, there's gonna be a floody floody

It rained yesterday. I didn't take any pictures, as I was busy sprinting across campus in a white t-shirt to make it to an appointment that was canceled for obvious reasons, but I lifted some pix off the internets. Yesterday was the biggest rainstorm Jinan has seen. EVER. Or at least since 1912, when they began keeping track. Depends who you ask, but anywhere from 30-50 people died within Jinan, who knows how many outside the city. Among the casualties was my computer, which had to be sent straight to rehab. In all seriousness, this totally sucked, and the city is a complete mess. 5 lane roads are completely torn up, there's debris everywhere, the biggest shopping center in town is basically completely destroyed, who knows how long it will take to fix everything.
This is the town square and underground mall, which flooded to the ceiling.



























For more pictures set to some poppy Chinese music, fast forward to 0:25/-5:45.

where the f am I living.

Scandalous! A head party member in Jinan had his mistress's car blown up. Some graphic pictures online, like, her arm in the middle of the road and stuff.

So I guess I won't be infiltrating the party that way...

Still famous, more so than before

You may or may not remember that I was interviewed for a newspaper article this past spring. The article turned out pretty nicely, complete with a colored picture of yours truly. I don't have a scanner, so you'll have to use your imagination.
Since then, news of my awesomeness has spread. I'm teaching an intensive English course for the next 2 weeks to students who will soon head off to UCLA for the summer, and today was my first day. If I had known this was going to happen, I probably would have put more makeup on.
The president of the university came to sit in on my lesson.

Both of us looking awkward. It's cool, we're like best friends and totally on a 1st name basis. Seriously, he loves me. We hang out all the time.

Also...

Me, News Crew

Yes. My teaching is so amazing, the local news came. I of course had no idea this was going down, so I had a total dopey 1st day lesson plan. Whatever, they ate it up. I was interviewed, but I didn't find out what time they were playing it on tv, so I didn't get to see it. Which, actually... is probably for the best. Lord knows I'm sure I made an ass of myself.

Very Chinese Dinner

I turned my final grades in today. Yaaaaay! Happy summer!
As I was leaving, one of the office workers ran up to me.

"Amanda! Did you turn in your grades?"
"Yes, just now."
"Did you collect your final pay?"
"Yup. Thanks!"
"So what will you do this summer?"

She's young and pleasant and seemed friendly enough, but I was kind of taken aback, as this was more interaction than we'd had all semester. Nonetheless, I filled her in, and she asked if I'd have time to go out to dinner with her sometime. Knowing a little about Chinese culture, I knew she was either
A) one of like, 4 people here who have a little tact and can begin a friendship by saying something other than, "I hope we can become good friends." and then not doing anything about it.
B) in need of a foreigner for something.
or C) llllllllllesbian.
I said sure, and we made plans to meet at the campus gate the next night.

So imagine my surprise when I show up at the gate, and its her, another young woman, a young man, and 2 children. Mmk, correct answer was B.

"I hope you don't mind, my brother and sister[-in-law] wanted to meet you. And it's ok we brought our sons, yes?" She said. Ok, I thought she was like, 25, how does she have a kid this old? But what am I going to say, no? We head to a restaurant near campus, and she tells me they go to this restaurant all the time. An expensive-ish restaurant, so I was supposed to be impressed. Wasn't. Too concerned about the children literally running circles around us. Seriously, the kids disappeared, took off running through the restaurant before we even sat down. Parents didn't seem to notice.

The husband and wife didn't speak any English, but told my "friend" that they would like to become good friends with me. They enjoy meeting foreigners and always want to be friends with them. We order. They continue to tell me all the things about their family that should impress me.

First course arrives. Kids (boys, 5 & 8 y/o) run up to the table shortly after, start shoveling food into their mouths. The parents excitedly whisper to the 5 year old, "Speak English! Speak English!" He looks at me with a huge grin on his face. Ok, cute kid. "I (pause) am (pause) Jake!" The parents looked at me expectedly. "Well, can you understand him?" "Um, yes." "Oh good! (In Chinese) She understands you!"
Kids run away, more food comes. I find out that the woman who I thought was my age is 34 and her son is 8. I kind of feel bad for her; I think she's single, and that's a total sin here. Whenever the kids would run back to the table, at times eating with their face digging straight into the plate, no chopsticks, the parents asked the younger boy to speak to me in English. It was all sorts of, "Good morning teacher!" "I am 5," and every time, the parents would turn to me and ask how he was, if his English was good, and if he was advanced for his age. Again, how can you say anything other than, "oh yes, very good. Very clear English." So that's what I said.

"Amanda, do you like children?" Dammit.
"I like children. I've never taught children, but I like them."
"Good, you like children."

Ok I like kids just fine, but I'm not about to babysit a Chinese boy who's spoiled silly and runs all over a crowded restaurant. Even if I taught kids, which I don't, I would probably spend most of a lesson with him saying, "No. Sit down. No. Sit down. No..." And even if I didn't like kids, if these parents are staring at you, who would say, "No. I do not like children." I mean, seriously.

In the middle of dinner, the couple asks me to be their friend and their son's English teacher. It would work out so well, they say. I can teach their son, and they can pay me, and then they can cook me dinner and take me to the park, and etc etc etc. Also, the husband owns a silk factory and says maybe I can take silks back to America to sell to my friends. No. No no no.

Do you really think that these dinners and picnics wouldn't just turn into an extended lesson for their son? Doubt it. And they don't speak English, and my Chinese isn't good enough to actually have real conversations, and all of the meals would turn into these 3 hour banquets, and they'd spend the whole time doing me favors that I don't want so that they can call upon me for favors later. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but it's super uncomfortable to sit there for 3 hours while people try to impress you because they want you to do something for them, and you know you're not going to actually do the thing they want you to do. I can't tell them, "No, I don't want to be your friend." Truth be told, they seemed like pretty cool people, but getting involved with this family was a whole can of worms I just didn't need to open.

I wanted to say "No. Why do the people in this country keep insisting on mixing business and recreation? I would be perfectly happy being your friend, but you want me to become like, a salesman for your business and a teacher for your kids, so thanks but no thanks," but I couldn't, as no one's allowed to be direct in China.

They kept pressuring me to give them a firm answer, so ultimately we said that maybe we could get together this weekend, if we could find a time that worked for everyone. My "friend" would call me to finalize a time.

Now I can't answer my phone for the rest of the week.