Foreigners in China: Reinforcing stereotypes since 2007

The semester is quickly drawing to a close. After this evening, I only have 2 weeks of teaching left, and though that means there'll be some financial cutbacks, I must say I'm eager for summer break. Semesters are long here, and it's pretty clear that attention spans are starting to dwindle. When taking attendance this evening, I was told by a student that 2 of his classmates were absent because of someone's farewell party, and another could not be there because "he is sick. He is not sick, but he is almost sick. It is so hot outside, he must stay home and rest." Last time I checked, the student was not particularly weak, and all buildings on campus (including his dormitory) are air conditioned, but whatever. It's hot and only going to get hotter, so I'll be happy to follow his example.

The foreign teachers are even more excited for summer than the students. Eager to head home, many have rearranged their schedules to get out of here as early as possible. A number of people go this week, and I've been taking a poll, simply asking what they're most looking forward to doing at home. By the sounds of things, I don't think common stereotypes are too off the mark.

• The American (who by the end of the evening was fr rlz wearing a cowboy hat) is looking forward to some "real pizza" which I'm pretty sure is fast food, America's gift to the world.

• A young woman from Japan, the trend capital of Asia (the world?), plans on going shopping.

• Her Irish husband looks forward to drinking a beer that's not Tsingtao.

• One Canadian looks forward to seeing his friend, who will pick him up from the airport with a welcome home gift in tow: "the fattest joint ever"

• My favorite was the response from the Italian, and I swear to all things holy this is what he said. He will "go home, open my mamma's refrigerator, and eat some mozzarella. That's what I did last time, first thing, I took out the mozzarella and ate it with my hand. Then? Iiii will go out on my Vespa." He was totally serious. Italians don't joke about cheese.

Me? I'll admit, I've had a few fantasies about what I would do if I went home. After hugging my mom and calling my friends to begin plans for the evening, I'd pickup Chipotle or Panera and eat it while watching TV (CNN and VH1, unless The Daily Show is on). Oh, but first I'd drink a real Diet Coke. God bless America.