what's your flava' tell me what's your flava'

When it comes to grocery shopping, there's a few different directions you can go here. You can buy your produce, eggs, and tofu from the wagon/portable booth on the street corner. Sure, the eggs still have bits of straw sticking to them and you have to lookout for wormholes on the tomatoes (if they have them that day; availability varies), but it's inexpensive and fresh and I really appreciate it when "my" vegetable woman corrects my Chinese. She does it genuinely, like, "Oh that crazy white girl, she needs all the help she can get!" And I totally picture her talking to her husband like, "The foreign girl came by today. She got half a kilo of green beans, some apples, and a couple carrots. She was real picky about them apples..."
If you decide to get your vegetables from the neighborhood lady, you'll also need to make a stop at one of the giant pharmacies (everything behind glass, workers wearing white lab coats) for toothpaste and vitamins, and a bodega for whatever else you need. Most likely, there's barely room for you and the owner in the bodega, and he will be old and will be smoking, and he will stare at you the entire time you are within eyesight. So will his buddies, who are sitting outside and have turned around to watch you. When I first arrived in China, I stopped in one of these and a lady charged me 50RMB for what I know now was probably like 5. That's the only time I was blatantly overcharged for something, and every experience since has been pretty painless. You buy your crackers and Diet Coke (which is called Diet Coke here but tastes like Coca-Cola Light. Barf.), and you're on your way.
So that's 3 stops and you still haven't even gotten your toilet paper or highlighters.

Which is why I suggest one of the other shopping choices in Jinan. There's three different 4-story shopping centers for you to sink your teeth into. Anything you're looking for, chances are you'll find it hidden along the shelves of one of these Megamonstrosities:

1) RT Mart. Based out of Taiwan, we call this place "Da Run Fa." I don't know enough about Taiwan Chinese to understand where the "RT Mart" part even came from. Every time I go here they ask for some card and every time I pretend like I don't understand, and then they're like, ok nevermind, go ahead.








2) WalMart. Or, in Chinese, "War Ma." In real life I'd cut off my right hand before entering this store, but in China life, it's a whole different ball game. I can find things here I can't find anywhere else, although they aren't always the "every day low prices" they claim to be in the good ol' US. Whole city block.

(ps smoggy day. Notice the difference?)





3) Carrefour. Just like the ones in Europe. Oh beloved Carrefour, this is where the magic happens (please note that it is too big for me to take a picture of its entirety). On my first trip here, I was totally overwhelmed, a shopping list a mile long, really getting sick of the Chinese people blatantly staring at me, my cart, my shopping choices, acting like I was the first foreigner they'd ever seen (I'm still not used to all that, btw). I turn the corner somewhere on floor 3, and what stands before me? A 6'6" blond guy who looks down and says, "Sup?" before continuing with his shopping.
Are you KIDDING? There's more of us? Where do we go? What do we do? Take me with you!

Magic moment #2 at Carrefour:
In the night version you can almost make out the escalator ramps that criss-cross over 4 stories. Redic.
Ok so people don't wait in line here, like it's not in their genes or something (don't even get me started), so when it comes to checkout, its fight or flight. I've gotten pretty good about it, and rarely does someone sneak past me in the pack as we shuffle towards the cash registers. So last week there was this really awful young couple, hellbent on waiting by the side and then trying to casually "merge" into the group. They took a step in front of me, thinking I was some stupid foreigner, but ha! They were wrong. I slowly made my way to the front of my cart and led it through the herd (which looked totally natural, I'm sure), thereby blocking any further move by Team Line Cutters. Even still, my anxiousness did not subside until a few minutes later, when not only I but the lady behind me successfully thwarted the enemy. Wrapped up in the glory of a hard-fought win, it was not until I heard screaming and yelling that I realized they had cut behind the woman behind me... and she was yelling at them! Loudly! For a long period of time! She is yelling at them for cutting in line in China, and she's not letting up any time soon! Hundreds of people (no exaggeration) were staring and/or looking at the floor and trying not to laugh. They've all been on both sides of that battle before, but until now the victims have suffered in silence. Possibly the most amazing thing I've seen since my arrival.