temporary

Hello to all of my beloved fans-
This is a temporary message to say that I haven't forgotten WCBF. Between a dead computer and preparing to travel for a bit, it's been nearly impossible to update. Check back soon, ya'll, I've got lots of backdated words of wisdom which I'll be adding asap.

The lord said to Noah, there's gonna be a floody floody

It rained yesterday. I didn't take any pictures, as I was busy sprinting across campus in a white t-shirt to make it to an appointment that was canceled for obvious reasons, but I lifted some pix off the internets. Yesterday was the biggest rainstorm Jinan has seen. EVER. Or at least since 1912, when they began keeping track. Depends who you ask, but anywhere from 30-50 people died within Jinan, who knows how many outside the city. Among the casualties was my computer, which had to be sent straight to rehab. In all seriousness, this totally sucked, and the city is a complete mess. 5 lane roads are completely torn up, there's debris everywhere, the biggest shopping center in town is basically completely destroyed, who knows how long it will take to fix everything.
This is the town square and underground mall, which flooded to the ceiling.



























For more pictures set to some poppy Chinese music, fast forward to 0:25/-5:45.

where the f am I living.

Scandalous! A head party member in Jinan had his mistress's car blown up. Some graphic pictures online, like, her arm in the middle of the road and stuff.

So I guess I won't be infiltrating the party that way...

Still famous, more so than before

You may or may not remember that I was interviewed for a newspaper article this past spring. The article turned out pretty nicely, complete with a colored picture of yours truly. I don't have a scanner, so you'll have to use your imagination.
Since then, news of my awesomeness has spread. I'm teaching an intensive English course for the next 2 weeks to students who will soon head off to UCLA for the summer, and today was my first day. If I had known this was going to happen, I probably would have put more makeup on.
The president of the university came to sit in on my lesson.

Both of us looking awkward. It's cool, we're like best friends and totally on a 1st name basis. Seriously, he loves me. We hang out all the time.

Also...

Me, News Crew

Yes. My teaching is so amazing, the local news came. I of course had no idea this was going down, so I had a total dopey 1st day lesson plan. Whatever, they ate it up. I was interviewed, but I didn't find out what time they were playing it on tv, so I didn't get to see it. Which, actually... is probably for the best. Lord knows I'm sure I made an ass of myself.

Very Chinese Dinner

I turned my final grades in today. Yaaaaay! Happy summer!
As I was leaving, one of the office workers ran up to me.

"Amanda! Did you turn in your grades?"
"Yes, just now."
"Did you collect your final pay?"
"Yup. Thanks!"
"So what will you do this summer?"

She's young and pleasant and seemed friendly enough, but I was kind of taken aback, as this was more interaction than we'd had all semester. Nonetheless, I filled her in, and she asked if I'd have time to go out to dinner with her sometime. Knowing a little about Chinese culture, I knew she was either
A) one of like, 4 people here who have a little tact and can begin a friendship by saying something other than, "I hope we can become good friends." and then not doing anything about it.
B) in need of a foreigner for something.
or C) llllllllllesbian.
I said sure, and we made plans to meet at the campus gate the next night.

So imagine my surprise when I show up at the gate, and its her, another young woman, a young man, and 2 children. Mmk, correct answer was B.

"I hope you don't mind, my brother and sister[-in-law] wanted to meet you. And it's ok we brought our sons, yes?" She said. Ok, I thought she was like, 25, how does she have a kid this old? But what am I going to say, no? We head to a restaurant near campus, and she tells me they go to this restaurant all the time. An expensive-ish restaurant, so I was supposed to be impressed. Wasn't. Too concerned about the children literally running circles around us. Seriously, the kids disappeared, took off running through the restaurant before we even sat down. Parents didn't seem to notice.

The husband and wife didn't speak any English, but told my "friend" that they would like to become good friends with me. They enjoy meeting foreigners and always want to be friends with them. We order. They continue to tell me all the things about their family that should impress me.

First course arrives. Kids (boys, 5 & 8 y/o) run up to the table shortly after, start shoveling food into their mouths. The parents excitedly whisper to the 5 year old, "Speak English! Speak English!" He looks at me with a huge grin on his face. Ok, cute kid. "I (pause) am (pause) Jake!" The parents looked at me expectedly. "Well, can you understand him?" "Um, yes." "Oh good! (In Chinese) She understands you!"
Kids run away, more food comes. I find out that the woman who I thought was my age is 34 and her son is 8. I kind of feel bad for her; I think she's single, and that's a total sin here. Whenever the kids would run back to the table, at times eating with their face digging straight into the plate, no chopsticks, the parents asked the younger boy to speak to me in English. It was all sorts of, "Good morning teacher!" "I am 5," and every time, the parents would turn to me and ask how he was, if his English was good, and if he was advanced for his age. Again, how can you say anything other than, "oh yes, very good. Very clear English." So that's what I said.

"Amanda, do you like children?" Dammit.
"I like children. I've never taught children, but I like them."
"Good, you like children."

Ok I like kids just fine, but I'm not about to babysit a Chinese boy who's spoiled silly and runs all over a crowded restaurant. Even if I taught kids, which I don't, I would probably spend most of a lesson with him saying, "No. Sit down. No. Sit down. No..." And even if I didn't like kids, if these parents are staring at you, who would say, "No. I do not like children." I mean, seriously.

In the middle of dinner, the couple asks me to be their friend and their son's English teacher. It would work out so well, they say. I can teach their son, and they can pay me, and then they can cook me dinner and take me to the park, and etc etc etc. Also, the husband owns a silk factory and says maybe I can take silks back to America to sell to my friends. No. No no no.

Do you really think that these dinners and picnics wouldn't just turn into an extended lesson for their son? Doubt it. And they don't speak English, and my Chinese isn't good enough to actually have real conversations, and all of the meals would turn into these 3 hour banquets, and they'd spend the whole time doing me favors that I don't want so that they can call upon me for favors later. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but it's super uncomfortable to sit there for 3 hours while people try to impress you because they want you to do something for them, and you know you're not going to actually do the thing they want you to do. I can't tell them, "No, I don't want to be your friend." Truth be told, they seemed like pretty cool people, but getting involved with this family was a whole can of worms I just didn't need to open.

I wanted to say "No. Why do the people in this country keep insisting on mixing business and recreation? I would be perfectly happy being your friend, but you want me to become like, a salesman for your business and a teacher for your kids, so thanks but no thanks," but I couldn't, as no one's allowed to be direct in China.

They kept pressuring me to give them a firm answer, so ultimately we said that maybe we could get together this weekend, if we could find a time that worked for everyone. My "friend" would call me to finalize a time.

Now I can't answer my phone for the rest of the week.

Chicken Soup for the Chinese Soul

**Warning: Cheese and rambling ahead**

I didn't really have anything to give my students a final exam on. We had done work throughout the semester, but most of the "English" lessons were really lessons on something else, improving our English as we went along. Instead I decided to have short 1-on-1 meetings with my students to discuss what they learned and enjoyed from the class. It would also be a way for me to get feedback without having to read 30 surveys with such helpful comments as "more movies!" etc.

Most of my students did quite well. They understood the concepts I had tried to teach them, even though some of the ideas were deep and analytical, requiring my students to think, which as we all know, the Chinese aren't big on. Everyone said that they weren't too keen on my class at 1st (and neither was I, if you'll recall), but that ultimately, they really got a lot out of it. It was funny, the students who didn't really "get it" suggested that next year I use more games, and the students who "got it" said the games were the most boring part of the semester. The majority of the class was of the latter mindset. A few even told me they'd like to talk with me about these topics further, and nearly all of them asked if I could be there teacher next year. As a teacher, knowing that my students a) learned and b) want me back, this was pretty much the best response I could have gotten.

And then there was David. David had only been able to attend the first day of class because of another class that he was taking at the same time. How is this possible or acceptable? Yeah, idk, but I'm still expected to test and pass him. As I've said before, I'm not one for mandatory attendance, but this was not a history lecture, this was oral English. How is he expected to improve his oral English, and how am I supposed to test him on his improvement, if he is EXPECTED by the administration of the university to not show up to my class?

David was not the only student like this; I had 3 or 4, but most other students had at least sent me an email or 2, which suggested they had at least spoken to their classmates about what was going on. David hadn't, and he knew it. Which is why he showed up with a giant piece of butcher paper with verticle Chinese caligraphy, hand painted himself, which sung of mountains and trees and beauty and wisdom (or something. That's pretty much every piece of Chinese poetry is about, no joke). Although I had walked into this interview with a negative attitude, this of course improved things. So, I began his interview with a series of Thank you's and a smile.

"So, let's begin. I know you were unable to attend class this term, but I'd still like to hear your thoughts, what you learned, what you thought was most significant, etc."

"Well, to tell you the truth, I hate English. I hate America." My grin turned into a scowl faster than you can say Chinese Communist Party.

"Well maybe if you had showed up for class, like, once, you would know that not only is that incredibly judgmental, but not even what we talked about in class. It's clear you never once paid attention to the readings and homework assignments (that you didn't do, btw), as I made it clear that my focus was not teaching you the superior ways of America, but was each culture is different, including the way we use the language, so therefore, intercultural communication is far more complex than words and grammar. You're an idiot and have given me no reason not to fail you right here."

Juuuust kidding. In reality, my face froze as I calmly said, "Well... why do you say that?" He was my last interview of the evening, so I took my time with him. What transpired was a conversation that lasted over an hour, delving into David's misconceptions of America, as well as his concerns and fears he had for his own country. Ok, so the kid was kind of emo, but it was refreshing to hear an honest, at least somewhat unique, voice coming from this young Chinese man.

He didn't like America because it was violent. All the movies portray America as a violent, shameless place, and this must be somewhat true, as real life events (shooting at Virginia Tech, invasion of Iraq) prove that America quickly skips over any intellectual alternatives and turns straight to violence as the solution to everything. What was America really like, he asked, and how can the people of China possibly understand the real daily lives of Americans if all they see is a quick-triggered, God-fearing, cowboy president (his view, not mine)? Without a continuous open dialogue between people like the two of us, David failed to see how we could possibly ever understand eachother.

I was careful with my response. I'm always honest with my students, but I try to put things delicately. I asked if he was familiar with the "...walk a mile in his shoes" concept. I told him that this semester we talked about culture, that it was like an iceberg, and that talking about food and music of America really only scratches the surface. Instead of teaching my students about the culture specifically, I focused on teaching them how to perceive a culture. How we should try to look at cross-cultural situations objectively, realizing that culture can cause all sorts of unintentional conflicts.

I reminded David that there are good things and bad things about every culture, and that what he sees is not always an accurate depiction of America. I understand how difficult it is to differentiate, just as it's difficult for most Americans to think of China as anything other than what America see of China in movies and on the news: crowded, polluted, and communist, product recalls and child labor, the Great Wall of China, and sake, sushi, and Geisha girls (oh, are those Japanese? same thing). I asked David if Chinese movies showed the "real" China. Of course not, he said. I told him about the recent headlines China was making overseas. Do these give Americans a solid understanding of "real" Chinese people? No. Same thing for the US.

David asked if I'd seen the "real" China yet. I said I hoped I had. Certainly more than my peers in the states, and I like to think that I've had some moments here that have revealed to me a tiny peak of "real" China. David said I'd never see the real China in Jinan. The people in Jinan, he said, they're the lucky ones. They don't live in a tiny village, and they don't have to worry about dying from polluted water or having their homes razed by the government. That was the real China, he said. I told you, the kid was emo, but I was happy to listen to what he had to say. He spoke as if he had only recently discovered that alternatives to the Chinese way of life existed and was now questioning his own beliefs. He said he felt betrayed by his country and saw only the negative aspects of his world. I told him it was good to acknowledge the negative, that making progress in the world is impossible without recognizing the problems that exist, but that it was so much better for him, and for the people he sympathized with, that he also recognize the positive, and consider means by which we could begin to improve things.

So many people in China are starving, barely surviving, he said. How can they improve their lives, when they don't have the opportunity to think beyond their next meal? The only people who have time to worry about bigger issues are the ones who end up with all the money, anyway.

I've spent a lot of time over the past semester attempting to discover the secret ingredient, what it is exactly that makes things in China so inherently different from home, and I often overlook something very basic. "Forgive the doe-eyed idealism," I told David, "but I really think that in China and in the US, we all just want to do the best we can. We want to put food on our table and offer a better life for our kids than we had." I certainly don't put forth my best effort every day, but I'm here in China to improve myself. I want the opportunity to celebrate the positive and analyze the negative in myself and the world. I told David not to give up hope on the world quite yet, and that I'd be happy to listen if he wanted to talk again.

I hung up the caligraphy David had made me. I'm not quite sure what it says exactly, but it reminds me of the conversation we had, and I'm sure whichever quote from Confucius (or whoever) it is, it couldn't be much better than that.

I love technology

I get a few podcasts for free, including Best Week Ever and NBC Nightly News. With my mind-numbingly slow (and free!) internet, it would seriously take 8 hours to download the half hour news program. More importantly, my slow internet was preventing me from keeping in touch with people at home as much as I wanted to, so it had to G-O go. (Old internet speed, download @ 8.98 kbps, upload @ 9.48 kbps)

Soooo, I gave in and paid for cable internet, which was of course as complicated as possible and took a total of 3 days. I tried to get the infamous Foreigners' Internet, which I know exists because Paula has it. With Foreigners' Internet, nothing's blocked! I asked someone in the international office who deals with all the foreign teachers and our living arrangements.

"What is the difference?" they asked.
"Well, some pages that I can see in America, I can't see here. I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT WOULD BE, but with Foreigner's Internet, I can view those pages."
"Why do you want to see that kind of web page?"

So now they think I'm trying to watch kiddie porn, not just read the BBC or go to one of the various .gov sites that's blocked [Sidebar: Let's be honest, China. More often than not, the blocked page I want to see is a celebrity gossip blog. If I'm trying to access a page about your juicy secrets, the only reason why I want to view it is because they're blocked, and I want to find out what all the hullabaloo is about so I can decide whether or not to judge you]. Despite the fact that I know it exists, I have seen it with my own eyes, I was told repeatedly that Foreigners' Internet doesn't exist, by various people, including the internet company. A bit pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

So some of the web is still blocked (have I mentioned this? Did you know that some websites are blocked in China?), but now I can get around it much faster.

Other things that I can now do with my faster internet:

• Video Chat, provided your internet is decent, and you have 20 minutes to spare, most of which will be spent typing "Why isn't this working" "I don't know, try again." to eachother.

• Slingbox This thing is amazing!! My dad set it up before I left, but because of my slow internet, I wasn't able to use it. I have software on my computer that connects online to the Slingbox which is sitting at my parent's house, attached to their TiVo, allowing me to watch their tv from my computer! I have a remote on my screen and then a window for the "television," so I can use it almost as easily as using a regular tv at home. I wish: Two people could control the TiVo at the same time, allowing my mom and I to watch different things while using the same system. With the 12 hour time difference, it hasn't been a problem yet. I also wish I could download from TiVo to my computer so I wouldn't have to be connected to the internet to watch. Also, the TiVo is set up for local and movie channels, no Bravo, Vh1, or other cable channels, but that's just because of the plan my parents have. But, Hello!: It's American TV whenever I want! And since it's TiVo, I can set shows to record and watch them later, ie, during Chinese waking hours. Random: It's very weird watching local news while sitting in China. It's also weird to see America money. How strange is that? Someone showed me a US dollar bill that they had in their wallet, and I couldn't stop giggling about how weird it looked, and how weird it is that I thought it looked weird, etc weirdⁿ

• Skype. Skype used to be pretty much the same thing as AIM or MSN Messenger-- you can talk to people online via text, with just audio, or audio/video. But Skype has since become this really amazing thing, mostly because it allows me to call people's phones from my computers for like, 2¢ a minute. And, AND, it allows you to buy a local number, which means people can call that number from their phone at home, just as if they're calling me from down the street, and it calls Skype account. I think I can set up call forwarding to send it to my cell, but that's probably another feature I have to pay for.
  

In other technology related news, my air conditioner manages to make my apartment hotter than it is outside (no exaggeration). It's not like it's SO hot here, but it's hot. I think it got up to 95F or so today, but it doesn't cool off at night. For instance, according to weather.com it's 87F at 11pm, so no, if you were wondering, I'm not sleeping that great these days. I'm considering moving to the floor, where I'd expect it's a bit cooler. Also, my spacebar seems to not be working,which made writing this very irritating.